Despite what mainstream media and public personas may
suggest, we need a lot more in this world than what the material and commercial
realms can offer. We need more than material things, surface beauty, scientific
facts, and escapes from the trials of life. At some point, we need deeper,
more spiritual, and more meaningful qualities to feel whole and balanced in
life. We need a better understanding of ourselves and our world. In reality, a great
pizza, a large screen TV, and a good movie cannot solve all our problems or
fill all the gaps inside of us. At some point, we find ourselves faced with
problems or questions that ordinary life barely acknowledges and is even less
prepared to resolve. That’s when we need to turn inward, and when we look around for
like-minded companions and mentors. That's when we need to make time to rediscover and nourish our inner self.
If we had a good childhood, our soul-self may have been
nourished and even encouraged, but odds are, somewhere along the way in life,
you began editing your inner nature. Some of that is merely part of maturity,
like learning not to say everything you think or take everything you want. But
sometimes the editing is far more disfiguring to our true nature. We may get
hurt in a way that teaches us to live in fear or lose self-confidence. We may
be taught that progress, power, strength, or winning are better than our desire
to be artistic or friendly. We may be taught that what we want cannot be
achieved or what we don’t want cannot be shed. We may wake up and find that we
don’t really even know who we are anymore. We cannot change the material
history of the past, but we can absolutely change the way that history is
recorded in our mind, body, and life. Learning to work at the soul level, look
beyond the patterns and beliefs of your life routine is a first step to tending
the soul.
As a first step to looking deeper into what you need at the
soul level, do this journal exercise. Draw a vertical line to make two columns on
your page, and write these two headings at the top of the columns: “Who I seem
to be” and “Who I really am.”
Under the left heading, write words and phrases that describe
how you present yourself in the world. How do others see you? How do you feel
and act in your daily or routine life? How do you spend your time? What roles
do you play? What attitudes or emotions drive most of your behavior?
Under the right heading, write words and phrases that
describe who you feel you really are. Try to look below the routines of your
life to find the underlying emotions and personality traits that you may or may
not be giving voice to in your life. What are your unused talents or passions?
How would you do things differently if you had more control, time, money, etc.?
What were you like as a child when people let you be yourself?
While you may believe that other people or situations are driving
who you are and how you live, the truth is that most of the patterns of your
life are being run by your own programming. Even if an event drove you to certain
reactions, you have become who you are and have created the patterns you live
as a result of choices you have made as a result of such events. That is, an
event can cause a particular defensive response, but once the period of
influence of the event is over, how you continue to behave or believe is up to
you.
Yes, there are some material constraints. If you are married with children, you really
aren’t likely to be able to run away from your responsibilities and join the
circus or circumnavigate the globe on a one-person sailboat. However, you could nourish your adventurous
nature without leaving your family, and your spouse and children might possibly like you better for it. The point is that while there may have been causal
experiences in your past to trigger certain patterns in your personality, how
you respond to those events and live out the rest of your life is yours to
decide. In traumatic cases, a lot of healing support is needed. But there are
always things you can do for yourself, also.
At the bottom of the left column, write down one trait or
behavior in that column that you can do differently and be more authentic to
your nature. That is, choose one thing you can do that will change something in
your persona to bring it more in line with your true nature.
At the bottom of the right column, write down one thing you
can do to nourish or unleash one of the listed under-used or neglected parts of
yourself. Our sailing dreamer above might take sailing lessons, or join a
boating club. You might bring your inner artist out to play with paint or other
mediums. You might join a choir or take dancing lessons. You might start
offering to help someone at work who is doing the job you wish you had,
providing you an opportunity to do what you like and perhaps get your talents
recognized. It is never too late to open up and give voice to our soul parts.
We cannot really expect others to see our potential when we can’t
even see it for ourselves. We can’t expect others to love what we cannot love
in ourselves. When you begin to look inward, awaken and value your inner
qualities, then you can receive the most important thing we need to feel whole
in this life: genuine self-love. Not an egoic selfish love, but a deep
spiritual connecting love that reminds you of your own spiritual nature, and
connects you with the living energy that runs through all creation. Namaste
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